Stuff I Learnt After Leaving School

I have been told time and time again, throughout my school years, that my generation is lucky to receive such a comprehensive education at school. When I left though, much to my dismay, I realised that there are many things the education system doesn't teach you. Here are some facts of life that I have only discovered since leaving school...

1. Chips/fries apparently DON'T count as one of your five-a-day (although I'm still passionately disputing this one!).
2. Parents occasionally get scared if you stare/smile at their kids for too long.
3. Margarita cocktails for breakfast will always end in regret.
4. That elusive 'thing' in life that promises to be better than chocolate may actually not exist.
5. After years of staring at feathers and screaming (to no avail), 'WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!' I may, in actual fact, be a muggle.
6. Some cars will speed up when they see you cross the road. It's a fact.
7. Sleep is entirely necessary and not just for weaklings.
8. Following your instinct instead of a map is a recipe for disaster.
9. Just because you recognise someone from TV it doesn't mean that they know who you are.
10. Technology unfortunately doesn't respond to bribery, threats and emotional blackmail.
11. Coffee is not an adequate substitute for food.
12. Simlish is NOT a standard international language. Using this to try and communicate with already confused foreign tourists is not a good idea.
13. When people tell you, 'Don't worry, I know what I'm doing' they generally don't.
14. If you continuously mutter under your breath as you walk around in public, street fundraisers don't approach/hassle you. (This has got to be the most valuable thing I have ever learnt.)
15. Swedes and turnips are actually entirely different vegetables.
16. Contrary to popular scientific theory, certain everyday conditions will affect the passing of time. For example, consuming alcohol will cause it to speed up and doing a shift at work will make it slow down. To further my understanding of this, I now intend to combine the two, to see if this will induce a state of equilibrium.
17. When someone says something to you that you either didn't listen to properly or just didn't understand, never EVER answer, 'yes'.
18. The excuse, 'It was for research purposes' doesn't always work.